Liverpool, UK: Welcome back! But not you Kevin...

I know that everyone in the UK loves pets. I know that most people love cats.

But when you are trying to make your back yard look like The Eden Project, on a limited budget, cats can be a real problem.

This is what I want to say every day when I open the back door to check on my tiny little plants, but can't.

(I can't because our neighbours are actually really nice, and I don't want to tell them that I hate it when their cat, Kevin, poops between every flower I have planted...)

In my head though (and now on my walls), this is how the conversation would go if I did have the courage:

 

Hi neighbours, we need to talk about Kevin...

 

He keeps pooping in here...

 

Right there on my tiny, new plants...

 

See, look, aww.

 

They look so nice.

 

Oh, wait...

 

You can't see it, but I can smell it...

 

(Kevin has left us something evil to pick up)

 

I don't want to sound mean (and he probably climbs over the wall instead of using this handy cat hole anyway), but please have him use the loo at your house instead...

 

Unless he brings cakes and good conversation, he isn't welcome...

 

Ever.

 

(There wasn't a fairy cake behind that daisy)